He's Just Not That Into Me

If you have read the book "He's Just Not That Into You", or even seen the movie then you will know exactly what I am talking about here. This book makes wonderful points that all women should pay attention too. After I went out with "perfect date" he fell off the grid, and even though I don't understand it (I mean Hello the date was awesome) I have come to the conclusion that he is just not that into me. And I will now point out the reason's why, and you should pay attention for these signs with men too.

• He told me to get ahold of him at the end of the date. Pretty explanatory though not obvious at the moment, made sense later. If he was into me, he would do the calling
• The day after the date was his Birthday, I sent him a happy birthday text asking how his day was, and he told me he spent half the day on the crapper. If he was into me, he probably wouldn't have shared that
• I texted him 3 days after the date to say "hi" and I had to bring up going out again (duh Inga) He then said "sounds cool" but when I called him not a minute later he didn't answer the phone. He then texted me back that he was eating and couldn't talk. If he was into me, he would have answered the phone. Eating or not if you like the girl you pick up.
• He then told me that he would call me later to talk about the details. An hour and a half later I got a text, or "text-cuse" as I have coined them, that he had a buddy coming over could he call me later. I mean come on, if he was into me he would have called, for christ sake the friend wasn't even there yet.

The next night, I got a very lame ass "text-cuse" after 10pm. "shit lady, I feel asleep and just woke up, I will call you tomorrow". I don't think I even need to explain at this point. So to maintain my cool the next morning I sent him a short "that will happen, talk to you later" I swear this guy is trying to make me get all pissy and do the dirty work, and I refuse to make it easy.

So the next night, Friday night, I get a text at 10:45, or as I like to think, after he got done doing something better, asking me if I was up yet. I say nothing and 20 minutes later I get "I am sorry, I am being a selfish ass one of my friends came over and I didn't call. I totally understand if you don't answer when I call tomorrow" So a little later I informed him that "I was out with my friends anyway, I will talk to you tomorrow"

Needless to say Saturday came with no phone call, but a text asking me what I was doing that night ( he had no one else to hang with) and I was busy. So after he gave me "maybe we can hang next week" I sent him what I felt the appropriate response of "if you want to, you know how to get ahold of me"

Just so there is no confusion, I got that he wasn't into me after point number one when he didn't answer because he was "eating". Some girls would see this random texting as "he must like me". But I do believe that he is stringing me along just in case he gets bored or can't find anything better (like that shit will happen ;P). But Inga is no dummy, I know the ugly truth of the situation. And it is that, like it or not, he's just not that into me.

The Perfect Date

Well my second foray into the world of Match.com came not a week after the dumping of Tattoo boy. I got some e-mails from a very nice 32 year old single guy from the area. He looked at all of my bad and embarrassing pictures on face book and still wanted to meet me, after exchanging a couple e-mails and a phone conversation we agreed to meet up for a date.

We met at Friday's here in town for lunch. I was pleasantly surprised when I met him, the conversation flowed nice, and I felt really relaxed around this guy. Then of course I had to go and spill a martini shaker full of Mojito and his beer all over him (yikes) and he just laughed it off, thank goodness but boy was my face red. So we had another drink at the bar and decided to head down to the park to take a walk.

This guy was a complete 180 from Tattoo Boy. He was nice, funny, he held the doors for me even the car door, he paid (even though that is not that important) and all in all we had a great time. We ended up having a couple more drinks at a quiet bar downtown and then off for supper (after all we had been together for about 5 hours at that point). The evening ended with him walking me to my car and giving me a kiss good night. So for all intensive purpose's it seemed to be the perfect date to me. Or at least the best one I have been on so far.

Cell Phones and Dating

So I would hope that with most people the rules of cell phone usage on a date should be pretty obvious, but for some people who don't get it *cough* Tattoo Boy *cough* I will now take a moment to point a few things out.

• Don't answer your cell phone when your on a date...especially a first date. Unless its some sort of a major emergency, its just being rude.
• Don't constantly be checking your phone for missed calls and text messages on a date, just as above its rude, and shows no respect for the person your with.
• If you do receive a text, don't respond unless its necessary
• And if your on a date with a girl and one of your female friends texts to ask how the date is going, don't engage in a 15 text message conversation (Tattoo Boy)
• And if your dumb enough to engage in above convo and your date asks you to stop multiple times, you should probably put the fuckin phone down.

So there you have it, Inga's rules for cell phone etiquette on a date. Enjoy

Tattoo Boy

So recently I got harangued into dating someone, for our purpose's we will call him Tattoo boy. Tattoo boy, couldn't be much further away from my type, aside from the obvious being that he was covered in Tattoo's, he was 3 years younger than me, had a unnatural obsession with Monster trucks and wrestling, and for whatever reason had a BIG chip on his shoulder about drinking.

So I reluctantly decided to go out with him for awhile since I didn't have much else going on. It didn't work out for so many reason's, obviously his age was big since he acted it. We had nothing in common, and he was uber clingy. I don't like to use uber out there but trust me he fit the bill. The constant calling and texting asking me if I liked him, what do I think about him, was I looking forward to seeing him again. It was exhausting. And then after all of this asking me if I liked him, he asked my family, and my friends. But then when he mentioned that the air was low on one of my tires, I asked him if he would put some air in it and he said "Hell no, you can do it" Yeah dude was a real charmer. He also had terrible cell phone etiquette, but that will be my next blog.

Basically this dude turned me into a dude. Dogging his phone calls. Making up lame excuses to not hang out. Tell him that we should just "hang out and see what happens" And the final straw was the ignoring of the phone calls and final e-mail break up. Yup pretty much brought me down the the level of the guy that we all hate to date. I at least think that I gave a better "Dear John" e-mail than any dude would, but I will let you decide for yourself.

"I am sorry for not answering when you called, I should have but I didn't really know what to say. Other than I just don't really think that this is going to work out as anything more than friends. We seriously have more differences than we have things in common. Our work shifts are so different that we can hardly see each other, not to mention we don't have much for similar interests. I like to go out with my friends every once in awhile and have a drink, and I can tell that your not comfortable with that, and it makes me uncomfortable. But then you were just out and got drunk, and that's fine. And you keep asking me things like am I going to be a "good girl" and not hang out with my friends and drink, and that's just not me. And the constant texting and asking me what I think is a bit obsessive yes, but then I ask you to do something simple for me like put air in my tires and I get a "hell no" which is a little confusing to me since you seemed so worried about me liking you. But that's besides the point, I think that you and I are looking for different things in a relationship. I am sorry if I wasted your time, this is just the way I feel."

C-Cap Is Your Friend

I don't know what they call it where ever you live, but here in Wisconsin it is known as "C-Cap". It's the state of Wisconsin's circuit court directory, and ladies in the world of Internet dating, hell any dating I have found that use of your states court directory can be a big time saver.

Case 1: A few years back I met a guy at a bar downtown, he seemed nice asked for my number and wanted to know if I would go out sometime. So I said sure and gave him my number, then later that night I went on home, and out of curiosity I checked him out on C-Cap. And low and behold this "great guy" that I met has a case against him for 4 counts of child molestation....great.

Case 2: Last year I met a guy over the Internet. We chatted it up and he seemed pretty normal, well after a couple weeks of online chatting and chatting on the phone I got curious. So I typed his name into google (like you've never done it) and came across an interesting article involving him from his hometown. Well I will save you the long story, and get to the point. After accessing Minnesota's circuit court database I found out that not only had he been arrested multiple times for possessing and dealing drugs. He had just got out of prison for dealing, racketeering and accessory to murder (YIKES) Needless to say I didn't talk to him again.


Odds are if you look up someone you will find a speeding ticket, a traffic violation , hell maybe a old DUI or possession of Marijuana charge. But if your lucky like me you will find that you attract the real winners. So for me at least I feel safe saying that C Cap is indeed my friend.

The Date That Wasn't

So after talking with my friend Ava and hearing about her adventures in Internet dating I decided to go ahead and give Match.com a try. Well about a week into my little foray into Internet dating I agreed to meet a guy from town that I met on the site. In talking to him before we went out he seemed to be a normal guy, so I agreed to go and meet him at a restaurant.

Well not a minute after I arrived he pointed out that my hair isn't as red as it was in my profile pictures and he has a thing for red heads. Strike one. Then after some conversation about random first meeting crap, movies, music yada yada. I made mention of my tonsil surgery (no gory details) and then I said "oops I guess this isn't first date conversation" to which he immediately replied "this isn't a date" Strike two. So after about 20 minutes of watching him constantly checking the time on his cell phone I said it was probably time to go. He couldn't have ran out of that place faster. Walking into the parking lot he was about 1o paces ahead of me, but he did manage to throw a half hearted "see you later" with out even looking back.

Now, I can't say this is the worst date I have been on ever, since, as he so gracefully pointed out, it wasn't a date. Boys. Seriously.