A Case of the Monday's

So I have spent pretty much all of my weekend at home whining because I don't feel good. Horay me. I have had a wicked sore throat and a headache going on since Friday, so this morning when I woke up and wanted to die my throat and head hurt so bad I decided it was time to go in. So I called in sick to work after making no less than 7 phone calls trying to find a real live person to answer the phone. Then I went to the doctor and was told that I most likely have the mono, so that sucks. At least they gave me some good medicine for the pain.

So I am sitting here a little bored, and a lot drugged up and I decided hey why not write a blog. Friday night I went to happy hour, and after a few martini's I decided that it would be a good idea to dye my hair. So now, for the first time in 3 years, Inga is not a red head. My friend dyed my hair "bronze shimmer" which is medium golden brown. But fear not you fans of red hair, I have 3 boxes of red hair dye packed away in storage that I have no intention of wasting.

I think its time for me to take a nap. Til next time!

For Dan

We have all heard the tired old lines "Don't take one day forgranted", "Live each day like its your last" and so on so fourth. Each day you hear those things and it pretty much goes in one ear and out the other. Until something happens that makes you stop and think.

I first found out that Dan, a friend of a friend if you will, was diagnosed with cancer almost a year ago. We had met at a couple of our mutual friends parties, and our personalities were scarily similar. So naturally we got along great. The last time we were together at a party I had a chance that I should have taken with him, that I will most likely regret forever. And if there is anything to learn from this, it would be to never assume you will have a second chance.

The morning after that party was the last time I saw him, we talked for a few minutes on the porch of our friends house. "See you around", thats the last thing he said to me that day. And little did either of us know that would be the last time we saw each other. There have been a few e-mail sent between the two of us since then. Brief "hey hows it going" e-mails, and even a few where he talked to me about his radiation therapy and how it was getting tough. In the last e-mail he sent me he said Happy Birthday and keep in touch.

I sent him an e-mail sometime over the summer asking him how he was doing, and to say hi. I never heard back from him. On Saturday November 15th Dan died from Cancer. He was only 31 years old. I never will hear back from him, but the brief interaction that I had with this nice funny guy is something that I won't forget. And I will do my best to never take a single day forgranted.


"I'm a very fun loving person. I believe in sucking every ounce of marrow out of life. I play basketball, softball, golf, and water ski. I have my own business and work hard so that I can play hard. Some of my friends think I'm crazy because I'm up for just about anything at the drop of a hat."

-From the about me section on Dan's myspace

You will be missed

Life as a Nuva Ring commercial

I just realized today that my life has been feeling a lot like one of those Nuva Ring commercials. Just in case you havent seen one, it has a group of sychronized swimmers swiming in a circle singing "Monday, Tuesday, Wednsday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, every day.......repeat" And as I was just standing here at work putting the confidental trash in the shredder I had that epiphany, that commercial sums up my life lately.

Now that I have a coveted 8 to 5 no evenings or weekends job I should be stoked right? At least thats what the keep telling me. For the last 5 years I havent had a job where I had to be at work every week day all the time. I have been spoiled with at least 2 week days off in month for sleeping in and lounging around. And at my last job I didnt even work a full 40 hours a week, so I was getting really spoiled with all the days off there. Not to mention that I worked second shift so I slept in all the time. And now even if I do get 8 plus hours of sleep, getting up at 6:30 in the morning just seems unnatural to me.

So for me, I get up everyday at 6:30 and work until 5, then repeat.

Tangelo update

I caved to my mothers pressure to be in the wedding (horay). And found out that the color my sister actually liked was burnt orange, not tangelo (thank god). However my numerous request's for a dress with sleeves or hell wide enough straps for me to wear my lunch lady bra went un noticed and she picked out a strapless dress with a big ass puffy skirt. It is a pretty dress, even though I look like a mack truck in matte satin when I tried it on. So I am having wide straps installed and a little bolero jacket made to wear over it. You can view it here if you so wish: http://www.alfredangelo.com/Collections/ProductDisplay.aspx?productID=17322a4a-ce4d-4ef7-8cb7-93bc1cffc355&categoryID=772f03c9-de43-4942-bfa0-da77e21ebd65&pg=0

Shopping with a 2 year old and other effective methods of birth control

So yesterday I piled into a mini van with my mother, our friend and her adorable 2 year old, normally well behaved daughter. We decided to head up to Rochester since I needed to return the keys to my old apartment and check my mail one last time.

Well I will skip all the boring crap and get right to the good part of the story. After a nice quiet drive up watching my first two hours of Elmo's world, we decided to start our shopping trip at Lane Bryant. Naturally we forgot to grab a stroller, but since the little cutie pie is always so well behaved we didnt think it would be a problem. And boy were we wrong. As soon as we entered the store she became a little hellion of massive proportions. First my mother had the pleasure of keeping tabs on her and I wasnt around so when I got tagged in I thought all would be well.

Well I tried to get her to sit down on a bench by the dressing room to wait for mommy to come out, and that wasnt happening. After I got up and chased her around the store a couple times, she decided it was time to crawl under her mom's dressing room door. So pretty soon her mom was done and it was time for me and my mother to go into try some stuff on. Now we left her in the presumably capable hands of her own mother and in the five minutes I was in the dressing room she managed to take off her coat and her shoes and socks. Then she crawled under the door while I was changing.

So after I came out her mom had had enough and it was my "turn" again. So after more chasing, and crying, and kicking and screaming I had pretty much decided that I dont need to have children of my own. Then she tried to crawl under the dressing room door that her mother had been in before and I ran up in the knick of time to grab her and tell her that "mommy is not in there anymore".

So eventually came time for us to pay for our perchase's and leave. My mother and I were at the register ready to pay when her mom decided that it would be ok to just let her "sit" unattended by the dressing rooms. I was so annoyed at that point I tried not to care and went on with paying for my shirt. It was shortly there after when we heard a very lound bang and I knew immediatly what had caused it. Her mother just laughed and said it must be her little baby, while my mother ran over to see what the little angel had done now. She had tipped over a maniquen, I am sure the employees were just thrilled.

Then after fun at Lane Bryant we went for lunch at the mall where thankfully the child was restrained in a high chair. Then came trying to drag her down to Bath and body works, which was also a treat. Of course at this point I just carried her around kicking and screaming because I did not wish to chase her all around. And afterwards on the way back to the car she ran into the coach store, grabbed a little purse on display, put it on her shoulder and proceeded to try and run out of the store.

Then on the drive home I got to hear about how she was a good girl that day......when she was restrained.

New job

I dont know if I like it yet. I am the only offical lab person they have ever had. I feel like the phlebotomist slash bitch around there. And I have a supervisor that likes to randomly "pop" in on me and point out every little extra thing that I could be doing. Like going through the old lab orders, and calling patients to tell them to come in and get they're lab work done (sigh). Not to mention that by day 3 I had already been reamed out 4 times for shit that I didnt even know.

Is it bad that its only been five days and I already want to quit? They are SOOO lucky I dont have a savings accout....

Sister wanted. Inquire within

So to ad to the already dramatic story of my sister's three ring circus of a wedding, I have now been offically demoted as maid of honor. The day her fiancee proposed I got a excited phone call, and then she asked me to be her MOH. And now apparently (and I say this because she lies ALL the time) her fiancee wants his sister in law to be the MOH. So did my sister tell me this. No of course not. She mentioned a few weeks ago that she asked her to be the matron of honor (what a crock of shit). And then I just figured out on my own that I am not even the one standing up for her. So you know, fuck that shit.

Then she lied and told my parents that she never asked me, Even more bullshit. So I hit my limit and told her that I wont be in the wedding anymore. And this is going to be one of those things. You know things that you never forget, and you bring up at holidays in the future just to remind her what a little bitch she was. One of those things. So as far as I am concerned once she gets married her new sister in law can be her sister. I have so totally had it with her its not even funny. So any applicants for my newly available sister position?

Lights Out

Well I went home on Monday after being back at home for a few days. I was really just looking forward to enjoying my last couple days of peace and quiet in my own apartment. So when I was approaching my apartment door, to what do my wandering eye's appear? Two notices from the electric company, one left on my door the day I headed home and one left that morning saying that they disconnected my power!

I mean seriously? No power. How's that for a low blow, but like I previously mentioned I had been struggling to pay the bills so I wasn't shocked, just annoyed. Talk about adding insult to injury. There I was, jobless, with 35 dollars to my name and no friggin power. So I had to forget about enjoying my last night at home, because it had passed. Luckily my good friend Ava let me stay with her that night so all was not lost.

So now my planned week of solitude and packing had to be cut short, so I am back at my parents house. Now I can spend my weekend up there packing during the day, and camping out by candle light at night. At least I haven't packed up my liquor cabinet.....

I shall return!

Well its official, I found out today that I got the job that I interviewed for last week. And since I didn't go in and sign off on my resignation until Tuesday, I was only unemployed (officially) for less than 24 hours.

So now on to the daunting task of packing up all my shit...I mean worldly belongings and getting ready to move back home....with my parents......very temporarily. Its kind of bitter sweet to be moving, actually more bitter than sweet. I am glad that some of my friends seem genuinely happy to hear that I am coming home so that is good. My parents will probably be more excited to have me back once I am out of they're house. And my sister will have at home help to plan her wedding. Of course now she wants to move to Rochester and possibly take over my lease. Which would be great for me financially, but I am her big sister so I don't want her to go. For two reasons; one of course is I just had to come back from there with my tail between my knee's, and two I just don't think making that move is right for her.

It really sucks that I got myself in this predicament with work when I did. Although I was to the point where I realized that I seriously couldn't afford my rent and utilities. Work was scheduling everyone to they bare bones FTE and there were like no overtime hours to speak of. But I was just getting used to Rochester, I was really starting to enjoy it. I was finally really getting along good with my co-workers since I had got to know them better. I was making more friends and starting to hang out with some people and do stuff as opposed to just sitting at home on my ass watching netflix all the time. Plus I really want to go to RCTC's Respiratory Care program.

So I guess in short, This is good bye Rochester.....for now. I shall return dammit!!

Just "say no" to tangelo

So as I have mentioned before in my blog my little sister has recently become engaged. Which is quite bittersweet for me. Being that she is 22 and getting married, and I am 25 and don't have a boyfriend, or hell any prospects. It puts me in a position where I am happy for her, but naturally a little jealous.

Today her fiancee went out and bought her a very nice engagement ring. To which my exact response was "That's very nice...bitch" So I had dinner with my family, and they were all "oohing" and "ahhing" and her engagement ring. And here I sit at the other end of the table, trying to recruit my cousin's into helping me move back to town...to my parents house...you know because I don't have a job. Then I heard her say no less than five times to my mother "Did you ever think one of your daughters would get a ring that's this nice" . I will just let you imagine what expletives were running through my head when I heard her say that for the third time much less the fifth. I guess you could say that its kinda hard for me to feel just super happy for them when it would appear that my life is going down the shitter.

So they decided that the wedding colors are going to be Tangelo (bright orange) and black. Now she decided on black dresses for the bridesmaids finally after lots of bitching and moaning by yours truly. But the guys will have orange tuxedo vests and ties. She will have a white dress with orange accents, and they will both be wearing special white and orange sneakers for the big event. Then the got the lovely idea that maybe they should get married on Halloween next year, you know just to make it extra special tacky. So I suggested that they just have the flower girl come down the isle in a little pumpkin costume. She didn't think it was as funny as I did. But hey, I am just not feeling the tangelo.

Hanging on for the ride

I am laying here on my friends couch trying, in vain, to fall asleep. So I decided to grab her laptop and vent...I mean share. So my whole week has been quite craptasitc if I do say so myself. I was cordially invited to resign from work, or come back next week and get fired, so naturally I decided to bow out gracefully. So now I am currently jobless. Great.

And since I have no job I certainly cant afford the rent on my nice apartment in "the city", so I had to go promptly after my invite to quit, to fill out my intent to vacate form with the landlords. So now I have to pay them 675 a month, until they can re-fill my unit. Which is fair, but I am still going to whine about it. So now I get to do the aforementioned moving back in with my parents with my tail between my knees. Which I don't think my mother realizes is not a good time for me.

I have had to point out to her several times that for me being 25 years old, and jobless having to live with them is not something that I am really looking forward to doing. She gave me the whole speech on how "temporary" the situation would be, like I am planning on just staying for the long term or something. Lets ignore the fact that my little sister, who bless her little heart fucks up all the time, has been in and out of they're house constantly for the last 4 years. So I suppose she needs me out soon so that she can have a breather before lil sis makes her next mistake. And I sincerely hope she does not, she has grown up and seems to be doing much better, hell she just got engaged (had to say something positive)

Any who, I had a job interview in town here today which seems to have gone pretty well, so here is to hoping that it all pans out for me. Of course the way things have been going for me lately I am terrified that it won't. Especially since I really NEED to get this one. The sooner I have a new job, and the sooner my apartment is filled, the sooner I can get back to trying to pick up the pieces and have some semblance of a normal life again. Until then, I will have to buckle my seat belt and hang on for the ride.

Intimacy vs. Isolation

To Quote psychologist Erik Erikson:

"The young adult stage, Intimacy vs. Isolation, is emphasized around the ages of 19 to 34. At the start of the Intimacy vs. Isolation stage, identity vs. role confusion is coming to an end and it still lingers at the foundation of the stage (Erikson 1950). Young adults are still eager to blend their identities with friends. They want to fit in. When we arrive at stage six we should be prepared for intimacy, a close personal relationship, and isolation, the fact of being alone and separated from others. Our ego should also be prepared for rejection, the challenge of break-ups, and isolation, being alone. Erikson believes we are sometimes isolated due to the above. We are afraid of rejection; being turned down, our partners breaking up with us. We are familiar with pain and to some of us rejection is painful, our egos cannot bear the pain."

Well folks I am so there. I think that at this point I have the rejection bit down pat. I mean I am a full figured gal and lets face it there isn't much of a market out there for me. I always say that "guys don't make passes at girls with fat asses" And in all my experience that seems to ring true. Sure I have tried online dating, but I would say that about 85% of the time I will be chatting with a guy and seeming to get along well and then as soon as they see pictures of me from the neck down I never hear from them again.

Don't get me wrong, I am not sitting at home pining away for any of those shallow guys. I have always been told that if I just lost some weight then I can find a guy. And I have heard it so many times, and along with my long line of rejections I started to really believe that. But I had an epiphany recently and I decided that no matter how hard I try and how healthy I eat; even if I do lose weight I am always going to be a bigger girl. So I may as well find myself a man that's going to be OK with that. I have seen enough Dr. Phil episodes of men who got all pissed off that they're wives "got fat" after they were married. And I sure as hell don't want that to be me.

Then to add insult to injury, my little sister announced this week that she is engaged. Great...I mean, "hooray good for you, congratulations". I can't wait to hear all the nagging and picking about how my little sister is getting married before me. Boy this is going to be a fun wedding. My baby sister is getting married, and I don't even have a boyfriend....or a date....or hell even any prospects. I guess I am feeling the isolation stage and waiting for my chance at intimacy.

Should I stay or should I go now

So for my very first blog post, I could bore you with some explanation or speech about why I decided to start blogging. Or what I want to talk about blah blah, the truth is I started this thing because I am bored and don't have many people to talk with. Now moving on.

I made the big decision a few months ago to finally put on my big girl panties and move away from my hometown to a bigger better town for a new job. Now since I am a self admitted chicken shit when it comes to anything new and scary, I had lots and LOTS of doubts about taking the chance to come here. I quit a decent job, I had a nice apartment and all my friends are there. But for the first time in my life I thought "what the hell" and I made my move.

Well now as it seems one of my biggest fears about moving here seems to be coming true. I have had some struggles with the new job, and made a few mistakes. And now I have myself to the point where at this very moment I don't know if I will have my job yet tomorrow. So naturally my inner chicken shit is rearing its ugly head.

So if I do end up losing my job what will I do? Try to find something else here and stick it out in the city I am finally getting used to? Or should I run home with my tail between my knees; mind you with no job or place to live so I would be moving back in with my parents for awhile (icky). Really I am damned if I do and damned if I don't, because if I don't get fired I am at the point where one more little mistake would get me fired.

So really either way I need to be looking for a different job. And now the question remains, should I stay or should I go?