Intimacy vs. Isolation

To Quote psychologist Erik Erikson:

"The young adult stage, Intimacy vs. Isolation, is emphasized around the ages of 19 to 34. At the start of the Intimacy vs. Isolation stage, identity vs. role confusion is coming to an end and it still lingers at the foundation of the stage (Erikson 1950). Young adults are still eager to blend their identities with friends. They want to fit in. When we arrive at stage six we should be prepared for intimacy, a close personal relationship, and isolation, the fact of being alone and separated from others. Our ego should also be prepared for rejection, the challenge of break-ups, and isolation, being alone. Erikson believes we are sometimes isolated due to the above. We are afraid of rejection; being turned down, our partners breaking up with us. We are familiar with pain and to some of us rejection is painful, our egos cannot bear the pain."

Well folks I am so there. I think that at this point I have the rejection bit down pat. I mean I am a full figured gal and lets face it there isn't much of a market out there for me. I always say that "guys don't make passes at girls with fat asses" And in all my experience that seems to ring true. Sure I have tried online dating, but I would say that about 85% of the time I will be chatting with a guy and seeming to get along well and then as soon as they see pictures of me from the neck down I never hear from them again.

Don't get me wrong, I am not sitting at home pining away for any of those shallow guys. I have always been told that if I just lost some weight then I can find a guy. And I have heard it so many times, and along with my long line of rejections I started to really believe that. But I had an epiphany recently and I decided that no matter how hard I try and how healthy I eat; even if I do lose weight I am always going to be a bigger girl. So I may as well find myself a man that's going to be OK with that. I have seen enough Dr. Phil episodes of men who got all pissed off that they're wives "got fat" after they were married. And I sure as hell don't want that to be me.

Then to add insult to injury, my little sister announced this week that she is engaged. Great...I mean, "hooray good for you, congratulations". I can't wait to hear all the nagging and picking about how my little sister is getting married before me. Boy this is going to be a fun wedding. My baby sister is getting married, and I don't even have a boyfriend....or a date....or hell even any prospects. I guess I am feeling the isolation stage and waiting for my chance at intimacy.